I spoke about algorithms. My book is at the bottom of the barrel, but it’s okay. I have a confession to make: I wrote it for someone and that someone is the only person in the world I need to read it. I never wrote it for money or fame and prior to releasing it to the public, I pondered about mentioning his first name on a dedication page, but in the end, felt best not to.
When he reads my book, he'll know, or at least I hope he does as I'm taking a huge leap of faith. Cryptic, I know. But I still have secrets that must remain intact and we will see how things play out. I've come this far, that alone is a miracle.
I'm a firm believer that coincidence is more than just that. Even if one's lifetime has been filled with them, all of which has led to repeated heartache. The expression, "whatever doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger", comes to mind. I wouldn't be who I am today, and for that I'm grateful. Yes, even for the pain, and will just leave it at that, for now.
** SPOILERS **
The card in my book, shown in my book trailer (I made the clips by myself, like all my videos, and again let me state that none of what I do is about money. It's all from the heart, racking up good karma because when I leave this world, I want to fly away with the angels).
While legally I am unable to add the poem that went with Alan Runner's letter (last chapter of my book), here it is. And I still tear up whenever I read it. I've loved Alan from afar ever since I was a teen, my soulmate, the man in my dreams, the one I was not meant to be with and all I ever wanted was for him to know my story. To know about my crazy dreams that still carry on. (On a comical note, why couldn't he have been a UPS driver or some guy in the office? Ugh!)
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death. "
- Robert Fulghum
Please see this blog post, which talks about the phoenix symbolism and more about what happened the last time I saw the man in my dreams: https://www.jenniferbattershill.com/post/the-phoenix (Last paragraph.)